A different kind of unexpected gift

I need to explain a couple of things:

1. I am not always a family-friendly person. I'm not raunchy, but I can tend to give away information that I wouldn't want my family to know about me... which is why I asked them not to come watch me do stand-up. Also, I've only been up for a total of 6 minutes, and I'm not exactly confident in my abilities at this point.

2. On my most recent (and second) open mic, I had a little ice-breaking joke. I said it was cold outside, and I knew because I'd accidentally leaned up against my car earlier and cut the glass with my nipples.

Okay, now you're caught up.

Yesterday at my granparents' house for Christmas, I received another unexpected gift. This one was from my Aunt and her pseudo-fiancee (I can't spell that). I was surprised to get anything from them, because she's not my godmother or anything. It had a card, which read: "Meghan, We just couldn't resist getting you a little something to protect your car on those cold Minnesota mornings."

Now, as a completely unsuspecting victim, I thought maybe it was a steering wheel cover, and Aunt Sara must have been feeling goofy. And, mind you, we had 25 people in the room - all sorts of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents - all eyes on me.

So I open it up and pull out a bra. It was bright green. A "nearly B."

This is how she chooses to tell me she came to comedy. Ho. Ho. Ho.

So that was my Christmas: fighting off questions from curious family members and being mortified by the fact that my aunt has heard me utter the phrase "rim job."