tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-109054692024-02-06T23:04:58.864-06:00Manifest Mentality"Every author in some way portrays himself in his works, even if it be against his will."
- Johann Wolfgang von GoetheAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-74538494541030847862013-09-30T09:05:00.000-05:002013-09-30T15:07:39.248-05:00What happened at DareLast week I witnessed something special. I don't even know how to describe it. It was Jonathan Kahn's labor of love, the inaugural <a href="http://www.dareconf.com/">Dare Conference</a>. A group of around 150 people (I should note I'm really bad at quantifying things, so don't take my word on that number) came together to talk about how to be better workers, better coworkers, better humans.<br />
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It was hard work—not just for the organizers and speakers, but for attendees as well.</div>
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I sat in my chair and watched speaker after speaker open themselves up. They shared fears and failures and struggles, and they revealed their fragile humanity. Some of them were friends. Some were strangers. Some were speakers I've admired for years. And there they were, examining themselves and asking us to do the same.</div>
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To see these strong, brilliant people standing alone and exposed was tough. I wanted to rush to them and comfort them. I wanted to take away their vulnerability. I wanted to fix and soothe and say it will be okay.</div>
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Of course, that wasn't the point. The point was that we are all facing enormous challenges, and just knowing that, being willing to be okay with our imperfections, is the path to compassion and better working relationships.<br />
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I'm still working to get my head around that—the cognitive dissonance between what I logically know to be true and what I actually feel, which is an overwhelming urge to flee and hide my own failures and flaws.<br />
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But what I particularly loved about Dare was that it combined personal, vulnerable stories with some really practical tips for managing yourself and your relationships.<br />
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I learned about identity contingencies and body language and psychologists' tricks for overcoming fears. We were given tools to map organizational culture and tips for better project management.<br />
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In the most excellent improvisation workshop, we got to role-play scenes from participants' real-life work struggles. It was incredible to see the effect minor changes had on the outcome of conversations. Rather than meekly looking away when you deliver bad news (as if to agree, "Yes, this conversation is hard"), maintain eye contact and a relaxed posture, and suddenly everyone is comfortable and happy.<br />
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So even though the conference left me overwhelmed by the mountain of work ahead of me, it also gave me some great new tools to help me do it.<br />
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I feel grateful to have been a part of something as special as Dare. I'm proud to know so many wonderful people who took great risks to bring this conference to fruition—by dreaming it up, by doing the work, by sharing their stories, by showing up—and I can't wait to see what comes next.<br />
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Many thanks to Jonathan and his team for bringing this to us.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-38577428414156505812013-08-22T19:29:00.001-05:002013-08-22T19:29:56.156-05:00An assortment of thoughts about Twitter and intimacy<h4>
I</h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What we do online is
real to the people who care about us. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We live a lot of our lives online. We have conversations,
flirtations, and even whole relationships online, and much of it is done in plain
sight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re exhibitionists. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re also voyeurs. We watch each other and speculate about
conversations and goings on that float through our feeds. We seek emotional
cues from and try to assess where we stand in the lives of those we care about,
be they friend, crush, or colleague.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And though we accept the exhibitionism, we scoff at the
voyeurism. It’s something we’ve decided should be shameful. “Creeping,”
“lurking,” and “stalking” are the verbs we use for the audience half of our
performer-audience activities. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When something posted online causes a reaction, we say, “It’s
just Twitter,” or, “It’s just Facebook,” as if the medium is reason enough to
dismiss the message and its accompanying response.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our friend confides, “I know I shouldn’t care, but...” But
he unfriended you, and it really fucking hurts. Why shouldn’t you care about
that?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It hurts to see you’re not invited to the party. It hurts to
see your love flirting with others. It hurts to see a peer get your dream job.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our online lives are realities—sometimes the only realities
people can see. By shaming voyeurism, we’re distancing ourselves from the
emotional consequences our online activities have on others. We’re shirking responsibility.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h4>
II</h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When we live so much
of our lives online, are we creating barriers to intimacy?</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, we’re putting a layer of technology between us
and other people. More than that, we’re throwing bits of ourselves out to the
world, casting a wide net of charm and flirtation. Within the context of an
established long-term relationship, this may be fine and healthy. But what
about those of us seeking to establish intimacy? The gap between “getting to
know” and “intimate” seems to be widening, and it’s getting increasingly
difficult to bridge. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We carry fragile egos, so we simultaneously look for signs
that we matter to others while also being careful not to give too much away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Voyeur brain scans their feed for something—anything—that
will indicate they’re thinking about us as much as we’re thinking about them.
Seeing nothing, our exhibitionist brain is careful to only post things that
clearly communicate we are happy, complete, and successful individuals who
couldn’t possibly care about the amazing date we had last night, which is so
totally unimportant it won’t be mentioned or alluded to in any way whatsoever
while we’re busy demonstrating our desirability by ostentatiously flirting with
this guy over here. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We affect cool so we won’t appear overzealous and leave
ourselves vulnerable for rejection. It’s a classic losing scenario, amplified
by 1,000 thanks to the very public nature of social media.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h4>
III</h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It’s hard to trust a
persona. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Twitter, for me, is a playground. I exorcise demons and
exercise hyperbole. I’m liberal with emotions, and I’m flexible with fact. I
firehose affection to anyone and everyone—sometimes genuine, sometimes ironic.
I tweet exactly what I’m feeling, and I tweet the opposite of what I’m feeling.
I tweet jokes. I tweet ideas. I tweet nonsensical babblings. I tweet anything
and everything, and I don’t really give much thought to a “personal brand.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Twitter is performance art. I play a persona, and it’s sort
of a shattered-mirror reflection of who I really am. The trouble is (and the
beauty is) that I successfully confound people and make it difficult for them
to know where I stand or where they stand with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For an artist, to see evidence that what you’re doing has
any effect on people is a thrill. But for a human, it’s lonely to be
misunderstood and difficult to trust. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h4>
IV </h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What needs to change?</b>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Intimacy in the age of social media requires commitment. If
you want to get someone across the bridge from casual partner to lasting love,
you have to be willing to sacrifice and be vulnerable. You have to become
trustworthy in order to be trusted.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
For me, that likely means a dramatic shift in my Twitter behaviors, sacrificing
a large portion of what I’ve come to consider my art. For most, it probably
just means heightened conscientiousness, putting yourself under the intense
scrutiny of someone who’s trying to win your affection. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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If we can admit that people are watching us, that what we do
affects them, and that real intimacy requires vulnerability and trust—and if
we’re willing to change based on that knowledge—we may just have a shot at
intimacy, after all.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-61994759010299405332013-06-14T15:54:00.001-05:002013-06-14T20:31:00.733-05:00Beauty as a Moral ImperativeIn the past week, I have been stuck on the idea of beauty as a moral imperative—that intentionally injecting and fostering of beauty might be key to living a generous, good life.<br />
<br />
<b>What is beauty?</b><br />
<div>
Beauty is both universal and personal. It is immediately recognizable. It is a moment of sublimity, of divinity. The sense that you are experiencing something rare and substantial.<br />
<div>
<br />
Universally, beauty is the symmetry of a face, the colors of a sunset, the petals of a rose, the chords of a song. There are certain things humans have celebrated across time and geography. Although I make no attempt to explain the phenomenon or identify the common threads, it seems clear that some beauty is universal, undeniable.<br />
<br />
On a personal level, beauty varies. For some, it may be in the freckles of a spouse. For others, it lies in a sea of smokestacks. Regardless of the trigger, our experience of beauty shares some key characteristics. It is a physiological reaction—the figurative swelling of the heart, the stopping of breath, the welling of tears. However brief, it is a moment of pure, unadulterated peace.<br />
<br />
We experience beauty in nature, in art, and in our daily interactions.<br />
<br />
<b>What is art?</b><br />
Art is, perhaps, in the intentional interjection of beauty into our lives. Its goal is to transcend, to touch the sublime. It also strives to capture a bit of humanity. A friend recently described art to me as “pure humanity committed to a medium.”<br />
<br />
Art is often grand and remarkable, but sometimes it is small and subtle. It’s a tiny gift placed lovingly into the pages of your daily life. It's the meticulously wrapped birthday gift or the fresh flowers on the cafe table.<br />
<br />
Last week at <a href="http://confabevents.com/events/minneapolis-2013/">Confab</a>, content strategists from around the world gathered to discuss the state of the web. I was struck by how frequently the success examples, the case studies for doing content right, included pure art as a major element of their appeal.<br />
<br />
For instance, one website sells trinkets on eBay. They buy thrift-store figurines and hire authors to craft a backstory about the trinkets’ origins. The seller then lists items with their accompanying stories for an enormous profit.<br />
<br />
Although art is not about selling, people are willing to pay for art. We crave it. We seek something that exists only for the sake of adding beauty to our lives. We are hungry for acknowledgement and celebration of our humanity.<br />
<br />
<b>Why do art and beauty matter?</b><br />
If art is humanity, and art is beautiful, then it stands to reason that humanity is beautiful—that sharing our humanity is a way to add beauty to the world.<br />
<br />
In a recent <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/09/opinion/sunday/how-not-to-be-alone.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1"><i>New York Times</i> article</a>, novelist Jonathan Safran Foer proposes that technology has increased barriers between us and other humans. Through the guise of connection, we are actually increasingly separated from those around us.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"I worry that the closer the world gets to our fingertips, the further it gets from our hearts."</i></blockquote>
<br />
The more we feel disconnected from the humans around us, the more pronounced our craving for humanity becomes.<br />
<br />
Think about the last time someone shared an emotion with you, something personal and real. Did it feel special and rare? Did it momentarily transport you from your task-based existence into a special place, occupied only by you and this other person? Was it something you appreciated? Did you feel a swelling of your heart?<br />
<br />
When we share a bit of our humanity, we add beauty to the world. We provide for another that glimmer of recognition, that briefly transcendent moment, that breath-catching thrill of beauty. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We are starved, yet we each carry a buffet of humanity within ourselves. If we are surrounded by starving people, is it not our duty to share our bounty?<br />
<br />
<b>The moral imperative</b><br />
My proposal is that the intentional injection of beauty into life—through art, vulnerable exposure of our humanity, and the creation of environments in which beautiful moments can bloom—is a gift and could be used as a moral compass.<br />
<br />
Maybe rather than asking, "What is good? What is right?" in any given situation, we instead look toward, "What is most beautiful?"<br />
<br />
When you are walking with someone and the light in the sky stops you short, when you're both standing in awe at the enormity of nature before you and you're overcome with the desire to throw your arms around this person and kiss them on the cheek, maybe this time you do. Maybe that's the most beautiful thing you can do. Even if you've never done that before. Even if it's outside the normal bounds of your relationship. Even if you're afraid.<br />
<br />
If you direct your actions toward the creation of beautiful moments, you may also create lasting memories. You may strengthen relationships. You may lift others, if only for the briefest seconds, closer to the divine.<br />
<br />
By cultivating beauty, we can elevate others and increase the overall amount of good in the world. Maybe that's all we can ever hope to do.</div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-29660731429427894252012-11-14T11:59:00.000-06:002012-11-14T12:05:08.089-06:00Shame, Loss, and Moving ForwardThis has not been a great year for me. In January, I began a new job. In February, I left my husband. In June, I was laid off.<br />
<br />
Following that, I swan-dived. I spent my summer and fall in a fog, making a series of unfortunate decisions that have left me feeling quite raw with regret.<br />
<br />
I'm not here to justify or explain myself. I lost the two most important things in my life and made predictable, if not cringe-inducingly cliché, attempts to soothe my pain. Many of the mistakes were made with full awareness of the decisions I "should" have been making instead. But the problem with "should" is that it rarely carries as much significance in critical decision moments as fear, emotion, and need for belonging.<br />
<br />
So, I sought salves. Hustle. People. Gossip. Alcohol. The perpetual appearance of fun, fun, fun. <i>I'll show them I'm fine. Look how much fun I'm having! See, I'm totally great. </i><br />
<br />
Surely, no one was fooled. Not even I.<br />
<br />
We've all watched people go through it. There's a reason it's a pattern; there's a reason cliché becomes cliché. Somehow this prescribed path forces itself upon you, welcome or not. This time it was simply my turn to make the mistakes, to play the part, to subject myself to shaking heads and clucking tongues.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, the fog has lifted, and I'm ready to move forward. Unfortunately, the memory of my mistakes feels like a big, fat whale of shame, dumped squarely on my path forward. I have to find a way over, around, or through--unless I want to run far, far away in some wild, unforeseen direction.
<br />
<br />
Frankly, my instinct has been to flee.<br />
<br />
Instead, I'm writing this post. I'm telling my story as a confession of sorts, an admission of what's been wrong and a commitment to fix it. I'm hoping to shrink the whale by wrapping it in words (a notion about shame lifted from Brené Brown's <i><a href="http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2012/5/15/daring-greatly.html">Daring Greatly</a></i>, which I just read and strongly recommend).
<br />
<br />
I'm lucky to belong to several communities of supportive people who consistently celebrate the humanity of their members. I know I can count on them for compassion and understanding as I stumble my way back into the fold. And in return, I am committed to bringing my best positive contributions, to getting back in the arena and fighting, and to exploring and playing as we all march onward together.<br />
<br />
With that, there's nothing left to do but get to work.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-88945603243326414542012-09-07T13:36:00.000-05:002012-09-07T20:42:51.091-05:00Give yourself<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself, if you wish to get others." </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
- Dr. David Seabury</blockquote>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I stumbled across this quote in high school, and it has stuck with me ever since. I've often thought of it in moments of fear and uncertainty. As a person who tends to retreat when I'm nervous, I've had to actively cultivate the habit of enthusiasm, of wholeheartedness. I force myself to engage as fully as possible--to get on board, really on board--to shed aloofness. This is hard, and I don't always succeed. But when I do, I see tremendous results. People latch onto positive energy. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For more than a decade, I've focused my attention primarily on those first two sentences, taking the third as a natural extension, a rhetorically pleasing add-on. I thought it was about giving up your dignity, being willing to be the first to make a fool of yourself so others can follow suit. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Over the past few months, my understanding of this concept has morphed. Give yourself. It sounds so simple, but I believe it is a deeply nuanced art. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's a combination of honesty and empathy, servitude and dependence, openness and closure. To give yourself means to give the best parts of yourself, freely, and to allow others to see the rest, slowly. It means being genuine, being honest, and being engaged. But it also means protecting yourself and others, preserving the sanctity of your best self and your relationships. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Honesty and empathy</b></div>
<div>
Although I'm reluctant to position these two qualities as opposed, there is an extraordinarily complex relationship between them, often pitting them at odds. Honesty is rarely as simple as it sounds; the world is filled with more smudgy gray areas than clean, black-and-white facts. We deal in degrees of honesty all the time, from simply not commenting on a fashion choice we find distasteful to shielding a friend from the knowledge her spouse is unfaithful. To what degree each choice is right depends entirely on the relationships and circumstances involved, and it's measured in empathy.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've read the arguments that suggest complete honesty is always the best approach, and I disagree. I believe we should always strive to be as honest as possible <i>within the bounds of compassion</i>. Have the bravery to deliver difficult messages where needed, but also have the strength to conceal unnecessary pain. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We're inundated with opportunities to be both honest and empathetic, to walk the strange, curvy lines, to slice through the nuances on others' behalf. This constant navigation is a form of giving yourself. It takes a lot of energy to find the balance. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Many choose to hide in a state of constant flattery, fake smiles, put-on demeanors instead. They "wear the mask that grins and lies" because it's easy, expected, accepted. But to really give yourself, you need to go deeper than that.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Servitude and dependence</b></div>
<div>
Another facet of giving yourself is service. Do for others. It's obvious and straightforward. But equally important and often overlooked is the willingness to ask for help. People love to be useful, to provide value. Let others help you. Let them make your life a little better. It gives them a boost and strengthens the relationship.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As someone who detests admitting weakness, who prides herself on self-sufficiency, this has been a particularly difficult habit to cultivate. But the more I do it, the easier it becomes. I remind myself that a request for help is a form of a gift.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Openness and closure</b></div>
<div>
This dichotomy causes me particular grief. Openness: a willingness to let anything in, to try anything once, and to experience new and different kinds of people. I excel at this. I'm almost pathologically open. I try new things, meet new people, and stretch my limits. Being open is a very simple way to give yourself.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But sometimes you encounter things and people that drain your energy, reduce you, infect you with negativity. That's when you need closure. Closure: cutting things out, closing things off. This is a brutal necessity in the self-preservation game. In order to truly be able to give yourself to others, you have to be willing to be the best self you can be. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I try every day to give myself to the world and to the people in my life. It's not always easy, and I don't always succeed, but I will keep trying. I will keep learning. I will keep doing better. Every day. For you.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-88506680586603157622012-06-03T20:18:00.000-05:002012-06-03T20:31:50.159-05:00Immobilized kittensI once heard, kittens that are immobilized as they grow, that aren't allowed to explore three-dimensional spaces, are unable to develop a clear sense of themselves. They do not understand their shape or physical abilities the way normal cats do. They can't determine how easily they fit through spaces or how distance works. They need interaction with their environment to shape their understanding of their bodies.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Trial and error plays such an important role in growth. Like any animal exploring physical spaces, we humans seek out the limitations of our inner selves. We stretch and bump into walls and learn the limits of our intellect, our patience, our generosity. We learn what we can do and what we won't do. We learn the space we take up in others' lives. We learn how much space to leave for others in our own. We learn to maneuver and survive.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm thinking of this as I navigate the trickiest period of my life so far. It comes with a label: Divorce. And it comes with side effects: Pain, Confusion, Shame.<br />
<br />
It's also the first time in my life I've had complete freedom to explore all the limitations of my own space. I can reach for anything without asking permission. I can take any risk, make any error. It's freeing and terrifying. I'm completely responsible for myself in a way I have never been before.<br />
<br />
So, I'm falling, running into walls, and getting hurt. I'm finding the limits, and I'm making mistakes. I'm gaining a sense of my shape, and it's bigger than I thought, needs more than I thought, reaches higher than I thought. I'm sketching an outline, and it's a difficult process. <br />
<br />
It's a challenge to mobilize yourself, but it's worth it. I'll be stronger for this. I'm coming alive in new ways. I'm seeing with new eyes.<br />
<br />
What about you? How much risk do you take in your own life? How frequently do you test your boundaries, explore your edges? How often do you do things that scare you? Do you open yourself to getting hurt? Do you give yourself permission to make mistakes?<br />
<br />
If you're not already doing these things, start now. Stretch yourself in ways that challenge you. Step into the world and throw yourself against every barrier you can find. See if they break. Slip around the edges. Learn the shape of your abilities, and keep pushing further.<br />
<br />
And the next time you see someone flailing, failing, hurling herself into obstacles with fervent persistence, don't pity her. Be proud. Have faith that when she stumbles, she'll pick herself back up. She's finding her way. But offer her a hand. She may just need it.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-13606031402034912352011-09-27T14:59:00.000-05:002011-09-27T14:59:44.428-05:00CoworkingFor 30 days in August–September, I took a test run of coworking at <a href="http://cocomsp.com/">CoCo Coworking and Collaborative Space</a>.<br />
<br />
Overall, the experience was great. It's nice to have a place to go to get work done, among other people, in an aesthetically pleasing environment (both of CoCo's locations are lovely).<br />
<br />
When you cowork at CoCo, you're surrounded by a sense of community – a feeling that the people sharing your space also share a common goal of accomplishing something (not really the vibe in a coffee shop or cafe). And there's a relaxed openness. Come as you are, when you please, for as long as you like. If you want to talk to other people, great. If not, that's OK, too.<br />
<br />
I really enjoyed the days I spent at CoCo and hope to try coworking again someday.<br />
<br />
That said, I should admit that my coworking experience was not as complete as it could have been. I had great intentions, but it didn't necessarily work out the way I'd dreamed. I did learn a few lessons along the way, though. If you're considering coworking, maybe these will help.<br />
<br /><b>Lesson #1</b><br />
First, I am not working on any major projects at the moment, nor was I looking to start any. I had a naive hope that signing up for coworking would motivate me to show up and find inspiration. Instead, I woke up each day with no clear goals for the day, which made the idea of packing up and going to a public location to be an aimless drifter rather unappealing.<br />
<br />
However, on days when I had a clear to-do list, getting there was much easier. And I did get much more done at CoCo than I would have done at home.<br />
<br />
<i>Take-away: Coworking is best for those who have work to do.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Lesson #2</b><br />
Another barrier I put in my own way was a refusal to drive. I live close enough to the St. Paul location to bike, and buses are far cheaper than parking in Minneapolis. I thought, "I'll save so much money on parking! And I'll get so much exercise! And I'll learn how to be a car-free commuter!" What really happened: the "satisfactory justifications for not showing up" bar was substantially lowered.<br />
<br />
<i>Take-away: Plan realistically for coworking, which may mean factoring in additional parking costs or planning to be there fewer days than you initially thought.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Lesson #3</b><br />
I'm a bit of an introvert. Although I enjoy many social situations and dislike extended periods of being alone, my default mode of operation is keeping to myself, particularly when I'm uncomfortable. Because of this, when I entered the coworking space, I shuffled to a spot, camped out, and tried my best to keep my eyes on my laptop for as long as I could endure it (usually around 4 hours). Then, I packed up and went home.<br />
<br />
People all around me were enjoying friendly conversations, meeting, greeting, hand-shaking, deal-making, etc. But it was a little beyond my reach. I only met a couple of people, and only on my first day, when I was specifically introduced to them. Again, I suspect I may have done better if I had clear goals (i.e., "Meet at least one person today because you need new clients or your cat will starve.")<br />
<i><br /></i><br />
<i>Take-away: Coworking has very clear benefits for the naturally extroverted, and introverts may need to try a bit harder (though don't we always?).</i><br />
<br />
And that's all I've got. I wish I had more to report.<br />
<br />
Thanks to CoCo for a great month!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-37887923698236127422011-09-06T14:05:00.000-05:002011-09-06T14:05:09.940-05:00Will Millennials helicopter parent?In the comments of his recent <a href="http://passepartout.posterous.com/are-millennials-a-new-species">post about Millennials</a>, blogger John Woodworth asked me a question: Do I think Millennials will "helicopter parent" the same way that their parents did/do? Because it's rather long-winded, the response gets its own post.<br />
<br />
In short, no. I don't believe Millennials will hover over their children to the same degree that their parents did – because it's not natural.<br />
<br />
The parenting of Millennial children is a direct result of the information landscape of their youth. When most Millennials were born/preparing to be born, the Internet was not the mainstream source of information. Television was. And magazines, newspapers, and radio.<br />
<br />
Not that long ago, publishers had complete reign over the information scene. They decided what was good for the masses and what wasn't. They called the shots – whether a self-help book made it on <i>Oprah</i> or a diet was featured on the <i>Today Show</i> or a parenting book was reviewed in <i>The New York Times</i>, etc.<br />
<br />
If publishers decided something should be a big deal, it was. When parenting fads took hold, they took hold en masse. It only took one publisher to say, "Hey, every kid <i>is</i> special. Everybody <i>should </i>win!" Once that ball got rolling, parents didn't stand a chance. Their fate was decided. They were destined to raise Very Special winner-geniuses. Straight As for everyone!<br />
<br />
While publishers still have a considerable amount of power – we still watch TV and listen to the radio and read newspapers – thanks to the Internet, the landscape is dramatically changing. We're no longer obligated to follow to publishers' curated streams. (Clay Shirky discusses this at length in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Surplus-Creativity-Generosity-Connected/dp/1594202532"><i>Cognitive Surplus</i></a>, which I highly recommend.)<br />
<br />
We have a wealth of information at our fingertips anytime, anywhere. This means we're responsible for choosing what we want to consume and forging paths through information by following our own instincts.<br />
<br />
New parents are no longer bombarded from all sides with "[Prescribed Method of the Year] is the Right Way" messages. They're hit from a thousand directions by a multitude of conflicting sources, each promoting a <i>different</i> Right Way. Since there's no possible way they can follow all the advice – breastfeed for 1 year, breastfeed for 3 months, breastfeed for 6 months – they have to choose a method that feels natural to them.<br />
<br />
We all do this, almost on a daily basis. Just last night I turned to Google for help ridding my kitchen of fruit flies. Although I only clicked the <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Fruit-Flies">first result</a>, I had five different trapping options and an excess of prevention advice. Based on that information, I had to choose an option that sounded most reasonable to me. (I actually chose three. None of them are working yet.)<br />
<br />
Had it been my mother at my age, she would have picked up the phone and called her mother, who would have given her one answer – whatever she'd always done – with maybe a little extra chiding about not keeping rotting bananas on the counter. (I totally don't.) (They're in the microwave now.)<br />
<br />
Gone are the days of one right answer. So must die the days of parenting fads.<br />
<br />
Since our primary information sources are no longer touting one exact right way to do anything, parents will get back to doing what feels natural. God willing, that will mean they stop raising Special little ego monsters who need Mommy and Daddy to <a href="http://www.askamanager.org/2010/05/parents-who-job-search-on-their-kids.html">negotiate their salaries</a>.<br />
<br />
Then again, maybe information inundation will terrify Millennial parents and cause them to be even <i>more</i> protective of their children. Let's hope not.<br />
<br />
As a final thought, do you think this new information landscape might be contributing to Millennials' clinging to their parents? In addition to a coddled childhood, freshly minted adult Millennials may just be overwhelmed by the amount of information they have to sort through in order to figure out <i>what to do</i>. If Mommy and Daddy are willing to step in to help, why not let them?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-688477098863513722011-08-18T14:57:00.000-05:002011-08-18T14:57:35.832-05:00Delusions of Grandeur no moreI changed the name of this blog. <i>Delusions of Grandeur</i> was no longer working. I liked the way it sounded, but I didn't like the way it trivialized everything posted under its heading.<br />
<br />
<i>Manifest Mentality</i> is a more accurate portrayal of what my writing is about: putting thoughts out there, trying to make ideas clear.<br />
<br />
Hope you like it. <br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-83627169884544016712011-08-17T11:04:00.004-05:002011-08-17T11:43:33.677-05:00Skills<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSvtNBYyxYNMZ4ogszCbZCjmKx6rGP8G2ipAQQ97GjbFEXijG85MOQ1du7LTTPEx526DpbKUdqX_h75XnIKGBiEqx3jvzzoxikAJD9D0r-wCdz8_2wKsToPqfJP54N5Y-AqRf_IA/s1600/Valuable-Skills.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 309px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSvtNBYyxYNMZ4ogszCbZCjmKx6rGP8G2ipAQQ97GjbFEXijG85MOQ1du7LTTPEx526DpbKUdqX_h75XnIKGBiEqx3jvzzoxikAJD9D0r-wCdz8_2wKsToPqfJP54N5Y-AqRf_IA/s400/Valuable-Skills.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641865397521671442" border="0" /></a>I created this cartoon to illustrate some of my valuable skills. Thought you might enjoy it. All of the customer service stories are actually true.
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<br />(P.S. Now that I have a scanner, all those caddywhompus angles are things of the past. Hooray!)
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-42561040438524180822011-06-20T19:34:00.005-05:002011-06-20T22:38:11.493-05:00Stepping outI have made the difficult decision to leave my job at Girl Scouts. In two weeks, I'll be starting a journey that is still, in large part, a question mark.<br /><br />I'm aware some–many–will question why I would leave a job without another lined up. I'm aware there is a stigma attached to resume gaps. I'm aware I'm at risk of disrupting my career path. And I'm aware that it's pretty much impossible to fully explain why I'm taking this leap.<br /><br />Suffice it to say: it's the right thing for me to do.<br /><br />Next? I have a few ideas, and my favorite is to be an information architect. I love words, design, and organizing information, and I've always excelled at combining visual and verbal elements to create intuitive paths through content. (That feels like a ridiculous thing to say, but it's true.)<br /><br />I'm willing to do just about anything to get a foot in the door at an agency, where I could work my way toward becoming an IA. If that means starting as a project manager, I'll start as a project manager. If it means starting as a receptionist, I'll start as a receptionist.<br /><br />If you have any connections that could help get me in the door at an agency, I'd really appreciate the help.<br /><br />In the meantime, I'll be focusing on furthering my education (informally), committing to a job search, and developing <a href="http://madinminnesota.com/">MadInMinnesota.com</a>.<br /><br />This is an exciting new chapter, and I can't wait to see what it brings.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-69436514941314549452011-06-19T12:16:00.006-05:002011-06-19T23:08:04.241-05:00UnSummit, Mad As Hell, & MadInMinnesota.comYesterday was UnSummit 5, and, as always, it was a great day. Big thanks to <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/dotmeg">Meg Gerritsen Knodl</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/myklroventine">Mykl Roventine</a>, and <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/donmball">Don Ball</a> for putting it together.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mad As Hell</span><br />I led a session called "Mad As Hell" about how we can start a movement toward civic collaboration. (The title/premise is inspired by <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_qgVn-Op7Q">this iconic scene</a> from the movie Network.) It was a great discussion, and I really appreciate everyone who came and contributed.<br /><br />Here's the short version:<br />The system is failing us – in hundreds of ways – and we as individuals feel powerless to do anything about it. We vote, and then wait for the people in power to make changes for us. Because that's all we feel empowered to do.<br /><br />And even if we think there's something more we could do, society places such a stigma on "political" dialogue that we're often hesitant to talk about it. How can we come together to make positive change if we can't even <span style="font-style: italic;">talk</span> about the issues we're facing?<br /><br />Well, I want to get us talking. I want to get us moving toward collaboration. Because there's strength in numbers. And if we can come together, get the conversation going, and start making connections, we can make positive change happen.<br /><br />With those goals in mind, I'm beginning a new venture: <a href="http://madinminnesota.com/">MadInMinnesota.com</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MadInMinnesota.com</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ABWGJLmA9g82Dx6srVST5MDXdu5etevF9eFAEOtfMTjhPEQW7RdYuZs2igNU_66NyN4DIP87_VapdAjGQCEC5qXes0quhSKsermgjqyPvAeNTQVBOSm3y25jt18b_ZbQFnBAxQ/s1600/MadInMN.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 147px; height: 147px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ABWGJLmA9g82Dx6srVST5MDXdu5etevF9eFAEOtfMTjhPEQW7RdYuZs2igNU_66NyN4DIP87_VapdAjGQCEC5qXes0quhSKsermgjqyPvAeNTQVBOSm3y25jt18b_ZbQFnBAxQ/s320/MadInMN.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620148704837165842" border="0" /></a>My vision for this site, which I shared yesterday, is for it to become a collaboration tool. At this moment, it's a simple Tumblr, but I want to make it into something bigger – a place where people can connect, manage projects, track progress, share updates, plan events, and find valuable resources.<br /><br />During the session yesterday, people had some really good suggestions for how to build and expand the site. I'll be asking for a lot of help and feedback in the coming weeks/months, and I'll be looking for people to participate.<br /><br />For now, we need posts and comments.<br /><br />Posts should simply answer two questions: 1. What are you mad about? 2. What are you going to do about it? (Question #2 is an important element.)<br /><br />They could be short conversation starters:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">What am I mad about? </span><br />I'm mad that the State government is about to shut down.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> What am I going to do about it?</span><br />I'm going to start a conversation right here about possible solutions. What could we do about this if we found enough people to work together?<br /></blockquote>Or they could be more involved action plans:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">What am I mad about?</span><br />I'm mad that broccoli costs more than a Big Mac. People with limited incomes deserve healthy food, too.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> What am I going to do about it?</span><br />I'm going to gather 10 people and start a community garden in my neighborhood. We'll grow the vegetables, then we'll donate them to low-income community members.<br /></blockquote>Posts could be about any issue relevant to you. The main goal is just to start talking. (I should note: highly contentious or aggressive conversation is often counterproductive, so I encourage you to focus on making positive progress, rather than finger-pointing.)<br /><br />If you have a few minutes today, please head over to <a href="http://madinminnesota.com/">MadInMinnesota.com</a> and take a look. Submit a post. Leave a comment. I really appreciate your participation!<br /><br />I look forward to hearing your feedback and to sharing further updates with you soon.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-70311096090163445052011-03-20T13:27:00.004-05:002011-03-20T14:25:19.702-05:00Personal/ProfessionalI am struggling emotionally right now. At work.<br /><br />Last week, our team lost a very important player, and it has been a much larger emotional hit than I could have anticipated. She was more than a colleague–she was a friend. While I hope she will continue to be a friend, it simply cannot be the same as sitting next to each other every day.<br /><br />She probably never realized how much her friendship meant to me, how much I looked up to her and valued her advice and guidance. She has helped me deal with some big life challenges, as well as many little ones. She introduced me to Rick Steeves before I went to Germany and told me how to care for the butcher block counter tops in the house I'm buying. She helped me figure out how to handle family drama and gave me perspective and condolence on silly arguments with my husband.<br /><br />And I did my best to be there for her, make her laugh when needed, be a listening ear, provide the best advice I could offer.<br /><br />Maybe it was a friendship of convenience and circumstance, but that doesn't make it any less real. She has been a constant presence in the next cubicle for the past three years. And now she's gone.<br /><br />Frankly, I'm mourning.<br /><br />But the beautiful thing about this feeling is that I know, more than I ever have, that I bring my true self to work. Although it may not be visible to everyone, it's here. It's sitting in a cubicle on Sunday afternoon trying to be productive when all I can do is feel the void next door.<br /><br />I've said it before, and it's worth repeating: Your personal and professional selves cannot be truly separated.<br /><br />I hear this constantly in the context of social media: "I don't want to mix my personal and professional lives." How can you avoid it? You spend so much of your life at work that it necessarily becomes a part of you. You are your work, and your work is you.<br /><br />If you have ever felt the sadness that I feel now over the departure of a coworker, then you know there's something to this. You know the two selves are not really two selves at all.<br /><br />Why do we cling so dearly to the separation? What do we think there is to gain? The idea that we're emotionless automatons when we come to work is simply a view that large corporations perpetuate so they can treat us as "human resources." Buying into that paradigm reinforces the idea that we're replaceable cogs.<br /><br />That's not the world I want to live in. I choose a world where my work is part of me, and I feel it deeply when I error, when something gets off track, when someone I care about leaves. In turn, I bring the whole of me to the work–my passion, my enthusiasm, my drive to be better, not for a check but for the joy of improvement. I feel the success as potently as the failure. It gives each day meaning.<br /><br />This will be a hard week–two weeks–month–but I am glad for that. I'm glad I have the ability to feel this deeply. At work. Because work is a part of me. And I give myself freely to work.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-47098631867337044702011-02-08T19:36:00.000-06:002011-02-08T19:57:07.311-06:00The myth of privacyDuring the Superbowl on Sunday, a commercial aired for a car that recites real-time Facebook status updates for you. I thought the commercial was cute and the product absurd. I was also struck by the broader implications of this feature, the definite blow this presents to our notion of privacy online.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Let me paint you a picture</span><br />You're having a bad day. A terrible day, really. The copier is broken, which means the repairman is stationed behind your cubicle all morning grumbling noisily into his walkie-talkie. Additionally, your boss promised to have reviewed your presentation last week, and now you're waiting on him before you can make progress. But he still hasn't gotten back to you, and at the moment he's off at a client meeting with one of your other coworkers, who happens to be a good friend.<br /><br />Finally, you cave. You give up on the morning and post a Facebook status: "Well, this morning is a waste. Can't get anything done while waiting on other people. Might as well play Farmville." There's nothing offensive in this post, and it's really not a big deal. Your profile is locked down anyway. Someone would have to be pretty malicious to spread this to your boss, and you have no reason to worry because your Facebook friends actually like you. You trust them with your information.<br /><br />But what you don't know is that while you're feeding your flock in a fit of frustration, your coworker (Tina) and boss (Jim) are getting into Tina's fancy new Chevy on the way home from said client meeting. During the meeting, the real-time Facebook status feature in Tina's car was the subject of a brief and interesting conversation. Curious, Jim asked for a demonstration on the way home. Tina gladly obliged. She switches it on, and the first thing that pops up is your status: "Well, this morning is a waste. Can't get anything done while waiting on other people. Might as well play Farmville."<br /><br />Ouch. Can you imagine what Jim's now thinking of you as an employee? Probably not good things.<br /><br />You thought you were safe. You thought you could trust all of your friends, and your privacy settings were perfect, so by all reason, this shouldn't have happened to you.<br /><br />You bought into the privacy myth.<br /><br />Maybe you're thinking, "What an outside chance. You had to come up with a pretty elaborate story to get a scenario in which my information would be jeopardized."<br /><br />You're wrong. It's not an outside chance, and I didn't have to be elaborate. I just like details. Here's another one. You post, "Really glad to get out of that dinner!" Meanwhile, at dinner, Guest shows Host a game on her phone, and your status scrolls by the screen. Whoops.<br /><br />My point is, this is easy to do and common already.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The myth</span><br />The internet sometimes lulls us into a false sense of security. We have "privacy" settings and can "hide" information, but those labels are misnomers. There's no privacy. There's no hiding. There's only temporary or conditional hiding.<br /><br />Until now, the only thing keeping our information within its restricted view is trust in the individuals we choose to share it with. We know that Sally can be trusted with our angst-filled Facebook wall, so we let her see it with no qualms. We know Greg isn't going to turn our private GChat into a company memo, so we go ahead and make a few suggestive jokes.<br /><br />While we can still trust people, we really can't trust the technology that's delivering our messages to them. Slip-ups, accidental breaches of trust, are increasingly easy. We have to continually remind ourselves that what we say on the internet is subject to a much larger audience than we ever intended: <span style="font-style: italic;">the entire internet</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">So what do we do?</span><br />My answer is really simple: If you're about to post anything with the hope that someone won't see it, don't. It's the same thing our parents have been telling us for years – if you have to look around before saying something in public, you probably shouldn't say it at all.<br /><br />If you have any doubts about the content, let it sit for a while - an hour, two hours, or a day. Then, if you still feel like it's important enough to say, and you're prepared for the risk of your unintended audiences seeing it, go right on ahead.<br /><br />Most of us don't have that much to hide. But if you do have things to hide, I suggest you find other outlets than social media to talk about them.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-44669232560606078682011-01-27T20:34:00.002-06:002011-01-27T21:16:17.596-06:00Twitter, "IRL"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3WUpQgD0WSviShGkOrg0XN95dWRnGBX9Hxn7S8aM9Y1PsP2Ln-3NMeqHmfAJpy0rtWOcvu3ts4WBTsCZ3zeE4sE3K3JoS2o4zMW3Sn45TNrqgo-rfy7H5LmPIXFAp64AO-t_FPg/s1600/Me%2526Bean.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3WUpQgD0WSviShGkOrg0XN95dWRnGBX9Hxn7S8aM9Y1PsP2Ln-3NMeqHmfAJpy0rtWOcvu3ts4WBTsCZ3zeE4sE3K3JoS2o4zMW3Sn45TNrqgo-rfy7H5LmPIXFAp64AO-t_FPg/s320/Me%2526Bean.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567060240237280850" border="0" /></a>Today I met one of my very first Twitter friends. Bob Knorpp (<a href="http://twitter.com/thebeancast">@TheBeanCast</a>) and I connected via the Superbowl in 2009 (so it's coincidentally appropriate timing to meet now, almost exactly two years later).<br /><br />That day, the 2009 Superbowl, was the day I fell in love with Twitter. All it took was the Superbowl ads hashtag, one experience with like-minded people connecting in real-time around the world, and I was hooked. I remember my husband regarding me bemusedly at the time as I kept telling him, "I am having so much FUN!" He had no idea. He still has no idea.<br /><br />Since that day, I've been an absolute Twitter fanatic. I can say, without reservation, that Twitter is the one (non-human) thing that has added the single most value to my life. Nothing else comes close.<br /><br />The people I meet and the things I learn on a daily basis enrich my life in ways I never could have anticipated. Two years ago the idea of heading into a room full of strangers would have terrified me. Now, it's one of my favorite things to do. I know there's a good chance one of my Twitter connections will be there, and I have never, not once, met anyone who was put off by being approached and asked, "Are you (insert Twitter handle here)?"<br /><br />And even if I don't recognize anyone in the sea of strangers, thanks to Twitter and the ice-breaking practice it has afforded me, I'm no longer afraid to jump into a conversation, to approach someone and introduce myself.<br /><br />People who dismiss Twitter as a place where you can learn what your coworkers ate for breakfast are missing out on an incredible relationship-building tool.<br /><br />Maybe if you're advanced in your career and already well connected (or a famous Seth Godin), then Twitter would be a drain on your time. But if you're starting out in the world, unsure of yourself, looking to meet interesting people in an open, low-risk space, I honestly can't imagine a better place than Twitter.<br /><br />Bob up there is quite possibly embarrassed to have inspired such a whimsical post, but his sudden "IRL"itude was just the impetus for a fit of reflective appreciation. Though he was among the first, he is one of dozens of people I've connected with since that Superbowl.<br /><br />This state, this city, this neighborhood – every part of my environment – is enhanced by the people who share it. I'm lucky to share it with such a kind, generous, and welcoming community. And I'm even luckier to know who that community is.<br /><br />I can't imagine what it's like for people who don't have that feeling of connectedness.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-77609791736268530422011-01-23T19:11:00.005-06:002011-01-24T13:55:58.392-06:00Overcoming doodling<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs1yr-4JBBiDYyrCRpTyPho304Vb0jJkjylwZonY1OKCo-frK0U7DbB22JVqUj2KNibYi0U4G98iy_Vy3WYLVtjMGLXIEmMM0n1rxjLjxU12ob4BhoEclHLWT2PHGIUTE7gTSoJw/s1600/Listening.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 297px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs1yr-4JBBiDYyrCRpTyPho304Vb0jJkjylwZonY1OKCo-frK0U7DbB22JVqUj2KNibYi0U4G98iy_Vy3WYLVtjMGLXIEmMM0n1rxjLjxU12ob4BhoEclHLWT2PHGIUTE7gTSoJw/s320/Listening.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565554390807432050" border="0" /></a>I have a problem. I doodle. A lot. On everything.<br /><br />Doodling has been a habit my entire life. As a kid, I liked to draw – I spent entire recesses filling notebooks with drawings of horses. Those concentrated drawing efforts eventually waned into a sort of passive, cartoonish doodling. In high school and college, I tended to doodle in the margins of notebooks and worksheets. This was never a problem. It was just a thing my hands did while my brain focused on the subject at hand.<br /><br />I have come to understand that I am a kinesthetic learner – I learn by doing. Visual learning is also easy for me, but auditory learning is almost impossible. The tactile occupation of doodling helps me better focus on listening. It gives my hands and eyes something to do without taking brain power from what I'm hearing.<br /><br />Unfortunately, this long-established auditory coping mechanism has followed me into my professional life. In meetings, usually with more than three participants, I have this uncontrollable habit of doodling. I say uncontrollable because I've been trying to control it. I'm tired of seeing cartoons on every piece of paper. It is just not professional. I know this.<br /><br />I also know that the very act of doodling makes me look disengaged, and I was given some very helpful feedback that this habit could be undermining me professionally. Although those who know me know that doodling is not a sign of absenteeism, others cannot be expected to know that. They, understandably, react to me as if I'm checked out.<br /><br />I became vaguely aware of this in college when I noticed that professors tended to dislike me at first and only respected me after I'd turned in the first assignment (i.e., when they realized I was actually a good student). It didn't matter much then, as long as my work was solid. Now, though, it matters.<br /><br />Oh, and I have another unpleasant component to my listening skills: when I'm<span style="font-style: italic;"></span> not doodling (and even sometimes when I am), my eyes can kind of gloss over/lose focus, like I'm lost in a whole other world (see illustration). Fun, eh?<br /><br />Bottom line: I need to find a way to make my body language communicate that I actually am engaged during meetings. And I could use some tips for how to make that happen.<br /><br />Obviously, I need to work on eye contact. Figuring out where to look during large-group meetings is daunting, but I'm told this gets easier with practice.<br /><br />My primary concern, however, is how to quit doodling, ideally without disrupting my ability to listen. Ideas on the table:<br /><ul><li>Take copious notes. This is an idea from a coworker. It would give me a physical occupation and a record of what happened during the meeting. Potential problems include slow handwriting, a listening barrier in the lag between hearing words and getting them on paper, and a decreased value of notes in general, as I currently tend to write only things that I'd like to follow up on later. So far, this is the strongest contender.<br /></li><li>Become a fiddler – pens, trinkets, etc. This would give me a physical occupation that requires little to no mental capacity. Potential problem is that it's really, really annoying. Is that better or worse?<br /></li><li>Quit cold turkey. This could possibly work for me because I respond well to absolutes. Potential problem would be a decreased ability to listen.<br /></li></ul>I'd love to hear from anyone else who has overcome doodling. What has worked for you? What hasn't?<br /><br />What coping tips do folks have for the auditorily challenged? How do the kinesthetic/visual (and introverted) types get through meetings?<br /><br />Any help would be greatly appreciated.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-49603332637911006972011-01-16T21:49:00.002-06:002011-01-16T22:38:19.029-06:00Assuming an air of authorityOn the way home from dinner tonight, my husband and I began discussing how simply acting confident and knowledgeable will lead people to believe you are, in fact, knowledgeable.<br /><br />I said, "That's one of the things I feel uncomfortable knowing."<br /><br />When he asked why, I explained that it feels misleading to project more confidence than you actually have, particularly in situations where you may be able to suggest <span style="font-style: italic;">a</span> solution to a problem, but it might not be <span style="font-style: italic;">the</span> solution. It seems disingenuous, particularly when people are apt to rely on your word as being the authority. I feel uncomfortable when other people place that much trust in me, and I dislike the influence acquired by turning on the Confidence Projection behavior.<br /><br />He said, "But sometimes people really <span style="font-style: italic;">need</span> you to be the authority. It doesn't matter if the answer you give them is the best answer possible. They need someone to give them an answer, and they've chosen you to do it. At that point, they <span style="font-style: italic;">need</span> you to be confident in whatever answer you give."<br /><br />And just like that, he gave me a little gift of insight (he does that sometimes), something so seemingly obvious that it's strange I'd never thought it before – at least, I'd not articulated it.<br /><br />As a person who's often honest to a fault, the idea of lying – or being misleading in any way – for the benefit of others is foreign to me. Yes, I'm the person who doesn't believe that lying about your hideous new haircut will do you any good. It may make you feel better now, but if you're led to believe it's amazing, then you'll keep getting it and keep looking weird. But at least with the haircut thing, I've been sufficiently socialized to know when to lie.<br /><br />Being a leader isn't as simple as lying about a haircut, though, is it? There's much more at stake. You're influencing opinions and making decisions that affect more people than you. I'd always thought it was about doing what's <span style="font-style: italic;">right</span>, leading people in the <span style="font-style: italic;">right</span> direction.<br /><br />But maybe that's a flawed idea of leadership. Maybe it's just about doing <span style="font-style: italic;">something</span>, leading people in <span style="font-style: italic;">a</span> direction – the best direction you can think of – because without that, they'll just be milling around, getting nowhere.<br /><br />Having a less-than-perfect solution is better than having no solution at all. And because of that, it's OK, estimable, and even <span style="font-style: italic;">right</span> to turn on that Confidence Projection and throw the full force of your influence behind your less-than-perfect solution. They need you to.<br /><br />When someone asks you to be an authority, they want you to be authoritative. You won't do them any favors by second-guessing yourself or being uncertain. You'll just cause them to question you – and themselves, by extension, for putting you in charge. It's your <span style="font-style: italic;">responsibility</span> to be confident.<br /><br />This is what I learned while driving home from sushi.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-61194961496555445592010-12-12T20:12:00.002-06:002010-12-12T22:10:41.613-06:00Social media lesson from 1996<blockquote>"You can't take something off the Internet. That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool. Once it's in there, it's in there."<br />- Joe, News Radio</blockquote>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-69249176402349757132010-12-02T21:26:00.009-06:002010-12-02T22:17:50.072-06:00Grateful: Better late than neverI'm grateful for people, for you, for friends and the characters in my life.<br />I'm grateful for food.<br />Red wine.<br />Good books.<br />Yes, Jane Austen.<br />I'm grateful for my job, my work, my passion.<br />Grateful that I care.<br />I'm grateful for the hopes and dreams, the very real visions I have for the future.<br />Someone to share that future.<br />Maybe a family someday.<br />I'm grateful for maybes and possibilities, open books.<br />I'm grateful for nephews.<br />Play Doh.<br />Catching frogs.<br />I'm grateful for family, my siblings and parents.<br />Grateful for aunts and uncles and grandparents.<br />Warm embraces, reluctant goodbyes.<br />I'm grateful for community, connectedness, and sharing.<br />Ideas all day in the cloud.<br />A sense of togetherness, a constant stream of friends.<br />I'm grateful for laughter.<br />Comedy.<br />Silly moments.<br />And tears.<br />I'm grateful for feeling, the ability to be hurt.<br />I'm grateful for living, breathing, experiencing.<br />Faith in something good.<br />Faith in tomorrow.<br />Faith in what's real, today.<br />I'm grateful for imagination, that world inside my head.<br />Fits of whimsy, fits of joy.<br />A meowing cat.<br />A favorite chair.<br />I'm grateful for movement, for youth, for a lifetime to grow.<br />I'm grateful for colors and beauty.<br />The sky.<br />Ocean.<br />And trees.<br />Snow falling in streetlamps' soft, orangey glow.<br />The tree outside my office in the moonlight obstructed by clouds.<br />Immense space, air to breathe, a place to go and reflect.<br />That bench on the hill, that little refuge just for me.<br />I'm grateful for children, for their light.<br />Their open arms.<br />I'm grateful for their hugs.<br />Lifting up and spinning around.<br />I'm grateful for music, a remembered moment, a kindred soul.<br />A dance in your apartment.<br />Comfortable pants and puffy robes.<br />Hot cocoa.<br />New socks, soft and warm, snugly hugging little toes.<br />I'm grateful for scents and senses, simple tactile pleasures in a day.<br />Morning coffee.<br />Christmas trees, thunderstorms, and fresh-cut grass.<br />Cuddling under blankets, keeping warm on Saturday morning.<br />I'm grateful for the little things, all around, all the time.<br />The things that make life rich, the things that make it simple.<br />Hundreds and thousands of moments.<br />I'm grateful for this, right now.<br />Look around.<br />This.<br />The life to be grateful for.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-41800429303714534092010-11-21T12:25:00.004-06:002010-11-21T17:01:22.862-06:00Dreaded orthotics: Please send helpIn spite of my last post expounding on all the ridiculous expectations placed on women and how it's OK to be flawed, you can't meet every expectation, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, I really care about my image and how I look. Really. As much as I wish we weren't living in such an image-conscious society, we are.<br /><br />And so it was with great dread that I heard my physical therapist chastise me for wearing flats. Flats! I said, "Well, I can't wear heels." And then it happened. He said the dreaded, terrible word... <span style="font-style: italic;">Orthotics</span>. Grandma shoes. Shoes that look like this:<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_CoFdAL5IrI5YQ_ZDwmVDaTQWLMX_gH6NgHbpzKnr4ifhgXzEg7zoziMbUIrN4B_cCbiju1FU3jxMl8a9lSfV9t1NoVwmrPCvJhvICAj0z5bg9K04xmIvBeu12E55DlMri53Xg/s1600/yhst-92280383793717_2130_127375296.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 260px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_CoFdAL5IrI5YQ_ZDwmVDaTQWLMX_gH6NgHbpzKnr4ifhgXzEg7zoziMbUIrN4B_cCbiju1FU3jxMl8a9lSfV9t1NoVwmrPCvJhvICAj0z5bg9K04xmIvBeu12E55DlMri53Xg/s400/yhst-92280383793717_2130_127375296.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542075597264504562" border="0" /></a><br /><br />If I want my knee to get any better, I'm going to have to suck it up and wear these "sensible" shoes for awhile (hopefully not forever... oh god).<br /><br />As a woman who appreciates style, who wishes she could wear stilettos and thigh-high boots and all the wonderful, shiny things we're taught to love, this is tantamount to a tragedy. It's as if I'm being punished for having an injury.<br /><br />So, I am trying to figure out if there's any way I can have my cake and eat it, too. Is it possible to wear orthotics and also maintain a semblance of style?<br /><br />Who can I even go to for guidance on this sort of thing? Doctors don't know style, and stylists don't know orthotics. It's like the Shoemuda Triangle - no one can save you.<br /><br />If you have any ideas, please help. I don't want to be a grandma yet.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-7211430497285002942010-11-16T17:01:00.004-06:002010-11-16T17:53:09.115-06:00Why I support Girl ScoutsI sometimes joke about my job and trivialize the work to get a laugh. But in all seriousness, I truly believe in Girl Scouting.<br /><br />I'm putting aside my marketing writer hat for a moment. This is Meghan talking, not the organization. These opinions are my own.<br /><br />Girls have it hard. We hold girls to impossible standards, through media, through upbringing, through social norms. We send girls bizarre, mixed messages about what they should aspire to, what women should be.<br /><br />Women should be sexy.<br /><br />Women should be cute.<br /><br />Women should be innocent, naive.<br /><br />Women should be smart, cunning.<br /><br />Women should be indirect, diplomatic.<br /><br />Women should have curves.<br /><br />Women should be thin.<br /><br />Women should aspire to the same career success as men - executive, entrepreneur, thought leader.<br /><br />Women should be mothers.<br /><br />Women should devote themselves to their families.<br /><br />Women should be stylish.<br /><br />Women should know how to accessorize.<br /><br />Women should wear high heels.<br /><br />Women should wear make up.<br /><br />Women should take themselves seriously.<br /><br />Women should take each other seriously.<br /><br />Women should lift each other up.<br /><br />Women should look out for themselves.<br /><br />Women should be in science and technology.<br /><br />Women should be fit.<br /><br />Women should be in charge of their own health and sanity.<br /><br />Women should be slutty.<br /><br />Women should be selective of their partners.<br /><br />Women should please men.<br /><br />Women should please themselves.<br /><br />Women should be in porn.<br /><br />Women should accept porn.<br /><br />Women should be one of the guys.<br /><br />Women should be mysterious.<br /><br />Women should be blond.<br /><br />Women should have long hair.<br /><br />Women should take care of their parents.<br /><br />Women should wear dresses.<br /><br />Women should be honest.<br /><br />Women should protect others' feelings.<br /><br />Women should know how to change tires and oil.<br /><br />Women should be assertive.<br /><br />Women should be patient.<br /><br />Women should be kind.<br /><br />Women should be everything to everyone.<br /><br />And if you fail?<br /><br />You're outcast. You're weird. You're second-class. You're insecure. You're left out.<br /><br />We tell our girls so many things, but who's telling them the important things?<br /><br />It's OK to be flawed.<br /><br />You can't live up to every expectation.<br /><br />All you really need to succeed are a few good relationships and some practical life skills.<br /><br />Whatever route you pick, just make sure it's the right route for you.<br /><br />Models in magazines are air-brushed.<br /><br />It's OK not to have a boyfriend in high school.<br /><br />It's OK if you do.<br /><br />Your opinions matter.<br /><br />You have the space to be who you really are, whether that's an astronaut or a mother - and chances are, you'll have to choose.<br /><br />You deserve to be treated with respect.<br /><br /><br />Girls need special attention. Girls need sacred spaces with other girls and adults they trust, spaces in which they can be themselves, take up space, and have a voice.<br /><br />We hear story after story of girls who attribute all of their confidence to Girl Scouts. If it weren't for the friendships they formed, they wouldn't be who they are today. Because they had a safe environment, they found the courage to be themselves.<br /><br />Yes, there's a stereotype about Girl Scouting. Yes, girls sell cookies. Yes, they sometimes do crafts.<br /><br />But I encourage you to look beyond the stereotype, look beyond the cookie sale (which really is a great financial literacy program, by the way), and see the remarkable potential this program has to touch the lives of girls.<br /><br />I truly believe that Girl Scouting has the power to change girls' lives. That's why I work here. That's why I donate. That's why I'm writing this post.<br /><br />I joke, but it's not about my salary. It's not about Thin Mints. It's about young girls hearing the right message at the right time so they can grow into strong, confident women who have the ability to choose their own path.<br /><br />It's <a href="http://givemn.razoo.com/p/gtmd-live">Give to the Max Day</a>. No one asked me to write this post. I'm just putting it out there. Think about supporting <a href="http://givemn.razoo.com/story/Girl-Scouts-Of-Minnesota-And-Wisconsin-River-Valleys">Girl Scouts</a> today.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-17310146830984402312010-11-09T20:50:00.005-06:002010-11-12T10:41:11.182-06:00Personal social media strategyI've been hearing really smart people talk about personal social media strategies with alarming frequency lately. In 2009 there was a huge focus on your personal brand, but in 2010 a lot of that talk seemed to go away. The Twitterverse, at least, has felt much less pedantic and much more social, even among the smartest circles.<br /><br />So it was with some surprise that I heard several people bring up personal social media strategies within the past week. The concept, if I understand correctly, is that you should approach your personal social media use similar to the way an organization would:<br /><ul><li>Set goals</li><li>Determine an audience</li><li>Create strategies</li><li>Evaluate success</li></ul>I wouldn't say this is particularly revolutionary, but it's surprising and vaguely off-putting. First, I'm not super thrilled about engaging in a space in which everyone has an agenda. Yes, people in real life have agendas all the time. However, I doubt most people sit down in the morning and map out a strategy for the conversations they'll have throughout the day.<br /><br />"Well, today I really need to boost my positivity rating at work, so I will compliment the CEO once (and only once, so I don't look insincere), offer to pick up lunch for my supervisor, and make sure someone sees me doing the abandoned dishes in the kitchen sink."<br /><br />People who do think like that are either evil geniuses or complete jerks. Probably both.<br /><br />I do recognize that while our day-to-day activities are transient, content that's put online is relatively permanent. And yes, that kind of gravity should require additional planning and consideration.<br /><br />But is it really feasible (or enjoyable) for individuals to operate under the "set a strategy and monitor it" model?<br /><br />Here's my hang-up: life changes. Your goals change almost daily. For an organization, goals can remain far more stable. You can have large, umbrella objectives like "engage members" and "increase sales." But most people can't really make those kinds of goals for their lives because too much changes too quickly, and it takes time to build an audience.<br /><br />For instance, let's say you're a regular person with a day job. You like talking to people and reading random, interesting articles throughout the day. Your goal with social media is to entertain yourself and meet people. You develop a network of people who like to socialize and share interesting information. Go you.<br /><br />But then you become unemployed. You need a job more than anything.<br /><br />Should your goal in social media change with your goal in life? If you have a network of people who enjoy beers and silly links, will they appreciate your sudden change to "mobile development thought leader"? Will they still want to hang around you when you focus all your energy on pumping content you think will help you get a job as a mobile developer?<br /><br />You could spend months building up an entirely new network, just to reach one specific goal. And then what? Do you need to continue in "job hunt" mode, constantly trying to prove your worth once you're gainfully employed? Or can you go back to socializing and silly link sharing?<br /><br />The obvious answer is that your social media strategy should encompass and reflect all parts of yourself at all times, right?<br /><br />A mobile developer's objective should be "to develop a diverse social network, including people who share silly information, who enjoy socializing in person, and who work in the mobile industry, while also building my own reputation as a thought leader in mobile development."<br /><br />Barf.<br /><br />...<br /><br />OK, I actually believe that's perfectly valid. I just hate thinking about life in that way. I'm an Intuitive(N)/Perceiving(P) Myers-Briggs personality type, which means I like to have an idea of the big picture and to just figure out how to get there as I go. I don't like setting goals and laying out strategies and tactics if I can help it.<br /><br />Clearly, I know that I'm interested in interactive marketing. I know that I like to laugh and to make people laugh. I know that I'm awkward but do enjoy meeting new people. I know that beer and coffee are the two greatest beverages on earth. And I know that I measure success based on progress in my field and by growing a diverse, positive network, increasingly comprised of real-world acquaintances.<br /><br />Do I really need to say, "My social media objective is to develop a diverse, positive network, including people who enjoy, among other things, beer, coffee, humor, and gatherings, while also developing my reputation as a competent interactive marketer and occasional humorist"?<br /><br />Do I need to set SMART goals for this objective? "In November I will increase @ replies containing the acronym 'LOL' by 15% for a total of 25."<br /><br />On November 30, should I "circle back" to measure my progress?<br /><br />Should all of my interactions be calculated against an objective?<br /><br />I'm genuinely conflicted about this idea. On one hand, how can people work on being their authentic selves if they're constantly holding their interactions up to some arbitrary goal? On the other, how can you be expected to know what you're doing if you haven't actually articulated it?<br /><br />Maybe I'm being a bit rosy in imagining that people generally have a grasp of who they are and what they're looking to do on any given day without clearly articulating it. Or maybe I'm being naive in thinking that it's possible to just fumble along and have things work out the way you'd hoped.<br /><br />Or maybe every aspect of our lives is becoming a little too results-oriented. Maybe some things should remain the way they're meant to be: social. Enjoyable.<br /><br />Does everything have to have a goal?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-63245726752348393042010-10-27T21:44:00.005-05:002010-10-27T22:04:21.949-05:00Things To Read Before I DieWell, I drafted a recap of the two-week trip to Germany my husband and I took last month, and I've been meaning to publish it for weeks. The draft is sitting there staring at me like a hungry animal, but I really think it needs pictures and I seem to be stuck on this whole uploading photos business.<span style="font-style: italic;"> I just don't have pictures to feed you right now, Beast!</span><br /><br />Somehow sorting through hundreds of blurry photos of gargoyles just doesn't seem to be grabbing my attention at the moment. So, the draft remains on hold.<br /><br />But I did do something interesting today. Prompted by in-laws and Christmas, I started my master "Things To Read Before I Die" list. Here's what I have so far:<br /><b></b><br /><b>Fiction</b><ul><li>Mansfeld Park - Jane Austen</li><li>Grapes of Wrath - Steinbeck</li><li>Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte</li><li>Middlemarch - George Eliot</li><li>À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time)<i> -</i> Proust</li><li> The Portrait of a Lady - Henry James</li><li>For Whom the Bell Tolls - Hemingway</li><li>I, Claudius - Robert Graves</li><li>Alexander Trilogy - Renault</li><li>Dr Zhivago - Boris Pasternak</li><li>Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy</li><li> Brave New World - Aldous Huxley</li><li>Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - Philip K. Dick</li><li>Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams</li><li>The Lost Daughter - Daralyse Lyons</li><li>Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand</li><li>Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh</li><li> A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess</li><li>Call It Sleep - Henry Roth</li><li>A Death in the Family - James Agee</li><li>The Man Who Loved Children - Christina Stead</li><li>A Passage to India - E.M. Forster</li></ul><b>Nonfiction</b><ul><li>Drive - Daniel Pink</li><li>Don't Make Me Think - Steven Krug</li><li>Content Strategy for the World Wide Web - Kristina Halvorson</li><li>Cluetrain Manifesto - Locke, Levine, Searls, Weinberger</li><li>The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell</li><li> A Child Called 'It' - Dave Pelzer</li><li>Churchill - Paul Johnson</li><li> On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft - Stephen King</li><li> John Adams - David McCullough</li><li> Benjamin Franklin - Walter Isaacson</li><li>Seven Pillars of Wisdon - T.E. Lawrence</li><li>The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire - Edward Gibbon</li><li>Lives of the Caesars - Suetonius</li><li>If This is a Man - Primo Levi</li><li>Loving Frank - Nancy Horan</li></ul>Like I said, it's a start. This by no means encompasses everything I ever hope to read, but I do really want to read all of these.<br /><br />What would you add? What should I really read that will disrupt my paradigm, make me laugh, make me cry, or otherwise turn me into a better person?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-65058236662603145302010-09-03T11:36:00.003-05:002010-09-03T14:33:37.762-05:00Challenges vs. OpportunitiesMany people in business prefer the word "opportunity" to the word "challenge." The theory behind this is that people who see opportunities have a more positive outlook than those who see challenges. And I suppose there is validity in this.<br /><br />But what about those of us who love a good challenge? Who view a challenge not as an obstacle but as something they <span style="font-style: italic;">must</span> respond to?<br /><br />Most of us are continually bombarded by opportunities. I have an opportunity to go to the movies tonight. To go to dinner. To call my friends. To stay at home. To eat some soup. To eat some donuts. To dance. To sing. To sulk. To go to Valleyfair. To join a club. To start a fight. To have an affair. To write a manifesto. To create a paper mache clown. To visit my grandparents. To invest in stocks. To go on a murderous rampage.<br /><br />Opportunities are all around me, and most of them will not be taken.<br /><br />But a challenge speaks to me differently. For instance:<br /><br /><blockquote>"I bet I'm better at Scrabble than you are."<br /><br />"Oh <span style="font-style: italic;">reeeeaally</span>? Is that a challenge? Let me show you what's what."</blockquote><br />It's competition, a desire to win that makes a challenge so becoming. I've done some of my very best work when overcoming challenges - tight deadlines, opposition, lack of precedent, etc. The challenge makes it fun.<br /><br />When most people look at Mount Everest, I'm sure they see an opportunity to climb a mountain. But I'm willing to bet the only people who actually try it are those who see a challenge, who view the mountain as a taunt. <span style="font-style: italic;">I dare you to climb me. </span><br /><br />I honestly believe that many people who do great things do it because they love the challenge. Yes, it's competitive, but it leads to amazing things.<br /><br />Is there really anything wrong with that?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10905469.post-65118910725404339102010-08-17T16:54:00.003-05:002010-08-17T16:58:39.932-05:00Joining the conversation about SMBMSPIt's about time.<br /><br />(In other words, I have nothing to add to <a href="http://www.mnheadhunter.com/mh/2010/08/an-open-letter-to-the-smbmsp-crowd.html">Paul's great post</a>. I just really wanted to publicly declare my support for Rick and Mykl's decision.)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17743989542015757096noreply@blogger.com0